a rare event

…you let go of my hand and now I am adrift at sea…there are sharks out here, there are whales out here, there are plenty of fish to choose from…but not the fishes I love and desire the most…you were too busy to even notice I slipped right through your fingers and got swallowed up by the deep…you never tossed me a lifesaver because you didn’t even see that I was drowning in the first place…I cried out to you several times to please save me with your love, but you never heard me…I couldn’t keep afloat without your effort to keep me breathing…you didn’t swim out to search for and retrieve me…so I tried to keep swimming, keep treading the water…but now,  I have no more will to…you could have so easily revived me but because you didn’t,  the abyss will take me now… and even though I don’t want to go…I just no longer have the strength to stay without that anchor buoy that only you possessed…. because you never offered to show me where it could be discovered…and I could never find it on my own…

last night, an hour after sunset, I went seeking some kind of solace from nature because I could not find any hope in my heart regarding you…it was still 100 degrees out , but there was one of those nice,  constant breezes that I love to feel  so much and hear ruffling through the palm fronds…only cicadas and crickets were singing to each other by that time of the evening…anxiously I gazed in to the NW sky like the sharp sight of an eagle looking for prey…and soon the pretty, twinkling  stars began to illuminate the night sky…I then searched to find  my way by finding  the big dipper…having located it,  I used my binoculars to assist in discovering the wonder…and there it was, the celebrated comet sat just below the familiar array of luminaries  and just above the stoic mountaintops…it was a sight to behold, although not easily seen and small in comparison to the immense night sky…it was a rare event that I got to witness…one that won’t happen again for another 6800 years…I, too, was a rare event that you captured the heart of…and I won’t be seen again by you for another 6800 lifetimes… you didn’t take the time nor effort to show me that you cherished me, appreciated me, but most of all,  loved me…so I will wander and travel in the night sky forever…looking for, but never finding,  that kind of love I felt only with you…eventually stars burn out and disappear…you will search and search and search the night sky, but you’ll never see another star as bright as mine,  again…as bright as sunshine…

I loved you with all of my entire being…you were The One that possessed me completely…everything that I am wanted everything that you are…but…you never showed me what I needed to see…you never took the time nor the effort to show me in several  different ways that you could have that you loved me…you only wanted me to exist on your words, alone…saying it and showing it are two different things, entirely…you didn’t nurture me…and just like a plant without sunshine, water and soil rich in nutrients to sustain it…it dies from neglect…and so do I…